Tuesday, July 31, 2007

5/16/2007 - Here I Go Again

May 16, 2007
Here I go again
I have been on vacation for a few days. Because nothing says Relaxing Mother’s Day like flying halfway across the country with two toddlers (on our LAPS for shits sake!) for a mini-reunion with the inlaws in a state that, at a roasting 90 degrees, is “Pretty cool for May.”

We stayed with my sister in law and her husband and daughter. They were wonderful.

My kids were great. But the fact is, I never sat down for more than 10 minutes at a time except when I was on the plane. That doesn’t count because even though I was technically sitting, half an ass cheek was in the aisle and I was juggling a sweaty toddler, a sippy cup, three different snacks, two Elmo books and an Etch a Sketch, all while trying to not get hit in the elbow or ass cheek by the damn drink cart.

Good times. Did I mention that my dryer broke the evening before we left, just as I pulled out an entire load of wet clothes, all of which were crucial to the vacation outfit planning?

The alarm clock went off at 2am the morning we left. AY-freaking- EM! Because my slacker husband waited so long to book our tickets that the only flight we could get on left at 6am. So why the four hour prep-time? I will let you do the math –

Time it took to get husband out of bed – 23 minutes
Time it took to wave still wet clothes from previous evening dryer fiasco around enough to dry them so I could pack – 45 minutes.
Time to get suitcases loaded in car while husband scratched his ass – 11 minutes
Time to get myself ready – 41 minutes, and I forgot earrings.
Time to get kids up and dressed while husband scratched ass again – 37 minutes.
Time to travel to airport – 48 minutes
Time it took to beg gate agent to move us out of middle seats – 18 minutes
Time to pee before plane took off and I was stuck with a toddler on my lap and no leg room for 3.25 hours – 0 minutes

Good, good times.

A plus, I stayed on my diet. A minus, there still isn’t one damn picture of myself from that trip that doesn’t make me want to throw myself at the feet of this chick and beg for an intervention.

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