Friday, August 24, 2007

Flush OFF!


I have been spared much of the unsolicited public assvice alot of other moms are subject to. Probably because I am a little older, and I tend to give off an air of control even though inside I am a writhing mess of anxiety.

And then the world decided it was time for MY boys to be potty trained.

The world decided, not me.

I know the potty thing was coming. They will be two and a half next month. And everyone else in my blog life is potty training. We have been taking the low key approach. Talking about who else uses the potty. Checking out “Big Boy Pants”. Checking out how the potty works. Hanging out with Mommy and Daddy while they use the potty. (Well Daddy, because Mommy is a princess and doesn’t need a potty. HA!) Sitting on the potty before bath time. Just sort of browsing the potty life.

But now, the world is putting on the squeeze. People at the grocery store have started following up the “How old are they?” question with “Are they potty training?” Family members have started inquiring about it, and worst of all are their daycare ladies, who are talking to me about it every day as if I am forgetting to dress them or feed them. (I know they have a vested interest in my boys depositing their morning loads into the toilet rather than into a diaper that they have to don a hazmat suit to change. I know, OK!)

Of course I want them to be potty trained. But I am not forcing the issue. My kids have developed on or before schedule all along. They walk, talk, dance, sing, throw balls, do puzzles, color, hug and kiss just fine. They are imaginative, bright, charming and inquisitive.

So attention world – Stop asking me personal questions about my kids excrement or I will ask you about your prostate exam or your feminine itching. Don’t slip me a “Potty with Elmo” video when I am trying to pry two kids off of me so I can get to work on time. Stop sighing when you see me lugging that case of Size 5 Huggies to my car and STOP making stupid jokes about how they will be wearing Depends to college.

(They aren't going to college without me anyway, so what business is of yours?)

If you keep this potty pressure up, I am afraid my boys will end up as anal-retentive, closeted, uptight, control freaks who think they can tell everyone else what to think.


Nobody puts Matt Baby in a corner.

4 comments:

Swistle said...

When my firstborn had his 3-year well visit, I was very nervous about the dr seeing he was still in diapers. But the pediatrician told me that for boys, age 3 is when they usually START the potty-training process. I found that very reassuring. And sure enough, both of my first two boys got to age 3 plus a month or so and started wanting to try to go on the potty. (Which, and I will just whisper this into your ear, led to them finishing potty-training at the SAME AGE as my friend's son, and she was the one who started him at 18 months and was making remarks about my son.)

Love the T.C. reference.

AndreAnna said...

I am petrified about potty training, so I've decided to ignore it. My daughter is 15 months, and I just put a potty in the bathroom so she could see that she has her own. And now, I will forget about until she gets naked herself and pees in it.

JMC said...

I let all my kids just decide when to do it on their own, but I did have to apply a little pressure the summer before they started 3-year-old preschool, because they had to be potty-trained to begin. All I did was remind them each day that they had to be going in the potty and wearing big girl pants before they could go to school. They really wanted to go to school, so they trained themselves.

Mom101 said...

Oh geez this is my current project to avoid du jour. I'm surprised to start hearing people asking me about it too. My daughter's two! She's not ready! Mostly she just wants to flush the toilet same as she wants to push the elevator buttons or dial the phone.

Thanks for the comment at my place today - it seriously made me happy to know I'm not the only one out there figuring this working v parenting stuff out.