Friday, August 3, 2007

Fly Swatting

Mrs. Chicken wrote a wonderfully kind post about her recent in-flight experience with another mom and her crying child. I wrote some of this in the comments but I am still rather hot under the bra about it so I am bringing it home.

I have flown twice with my kids, and both times they were wonderful for 95% of the flight. The other 5%, I did backflips, handstands and cartwheels to keep them quiet so as not to disturb our fellow passengers. Heaven forbid.

I am tired of people bitching about kids on planes. Kids hate flying as much as all of the adults do. The planes are cramped, the in-flight amenities suck, and these days a two hour flight often includes a four hour delay and an additional hour or two just inexplicably sitting on the ground in a hot airplane. But unlike a crowded restaurant where a parent has the ability and duty to carry a screaming child out, on a plane you are trapped.

And Kids? I find the other adults far more offensive. I would much rather sit in front of a kicking child than behind the jackass who has to fully recline the aisle seat in front of me and sleep the entire flight so no one in our row can pee. Or the crude jerk I sat across from who regaled his trapped seatmates, and everyone around us four rows deep, with tales of his hooker excursions in Asia and his visit to the Mustang ranch. He had spilled gasoline all over himself in a drunken haze on his way to the airport and the verbal and olfactory abuse was stifling.

What about the adults who watch near-porn on their portable DVD players? Planes are small, people, we can see it from 10 rows back. Or the ones who blare music from their iPod’s? That tinny, static noise they emit is like nails on the chalkboard when you have to listen to it for 3000 miles.

I have seen grown men call the stewardesses bitches for not moving the cart, and seen women get so drunk they cant make it to the restroom in time. I would rather sit near a kid, who is acting like a kid, than an adult who is acting like a spoiled, under-napped brat. Please, please put me in the family section with the crying kids and away from the selfish, obnoxious adults who think that they own the air. A ticket bought is a seat owned.


Swistle said...

I totally, totally agree. I don't mind a crying baby. I DO mind the guy who sighs heavily and rolls his eyes when I need to get past him to use the bathroom one time on a 6-hour flight. I DO mind the guy who snaps his finger at the flight attendant and asks if he can get a drink anytime today. I DO mind the woman talking in a loud, loud voice because she clearly wants everyone to listen to her long stories about how guys just love her and she just doesn't know what to do about it.

AndreAnna said...

You are sooo very right. I've only flown once with my baby and thankfully she was wonderful, even when taxiing for 9487598374 hours, but the woman behind me who kept bitching about us taxiing was way worse than the baby a few rows back who did have a meltdown.

Adults are babies who justify their cries and translate them into words.

Mrs. Chicken said...

Amen, sistah. And did you see that nasty, nasty anonymous comment saying the woman should have SEDATED her child??

Oh, that really burned my butt.

binkytown said...

No doubt. The adults are often times the ones acting like children!

The Middle Child said...

Amen, and well said!

The Parents Zone said...

Awesome Michele, accept my large applause ... completely agree with who are innocent don't know anything, what to do and want not...infants can't speak so they cry because that is the only way they can alert their mama to tell they want something.