Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Just too hot

Why does the news insist on reporting the current heat wave as if it is a news story? It is AUGUST people. August is the devil’s sack month of the year and always has been. Why is it getting so much press?

Is it “an exclusive” that my hair inflates 3.25 additional inches every morning as I load the kids into the car, leaving me looking like this for the rest of the day?

That's me in the middle.

Is it a “developing story” that my bras are stuck to me like Gorilla Glue by the time I get home every night? That I rip them off and throw them as far away from as I can only to have the kids bring them back to me, damp and limp, saying “Mommy shirt back ON!” ?

Has no one else experienced the feeling of sweat rolling down the middle of your back as you change a ginormous poopy diaper, forcing you to choose between keeping your toddlers legs out of the muck, or swiping away that beetle crawling on my skin feeling?

Who hasn’t had the joy of finding, but not until FINALLY hitting that ladies room at 11am, after attending two meetings with other people who made eye contact with me, that their eyeliner melted into a rather Alice Cooper-esque design, sometime on the way into work this morning?

Am I really the only person who thinks that popsicles and corn flakes would make a fabulous dinner tonite?

This officially kicks off my annual “enough with the summer” campaign. Unless I can enjoy it on a beach chair with a cold seltzer, its all just a big A/C bill and sweaty feet to me now.

Bring on the pumpkins.


Tessie said...

Seriously. Every year about this time I'm like "WE ARE MOVING! I cannot stand this heat anymore!"

Oh, that beetle crawling down the back feeling. I have the heebs just reading that. Uck.

Mrs. Chicken said...

Oh YEAH. We are dying here. The heat index is 110 and the thermometer outside my window - in the shade - reads the same way.

It is 2:30 and I am already counting second to bedtime because it is too hot to go outside.

Relief, they name is October.

Dawn said...

Devil's sack indeed...

and maybe no one told you about your Alice Cooper look cause they were afraid you were going to grab them and chew off their head?

No, that would be Ozzie....