Friday, August 17, 2007

So Good It Scares Me

Why is it that when things are going well, instead of coasting along on a boogie board of pink cotton candy, I instead have to turn it upside down and look for ants in the fluff?

I believe in karma and doing unto others as you would have them do unto you. I have been doing well unto others (especially husband and children) and I have been trying to spread goodwill and peace unto others as I would have them spread unto me.

"Spread unto me" sounds dirty doesn't it?

So it would stand to reason that all of the good spreading would come to a pleasing fruition, on my end, no? That was, after all, my intention.

And as the last few weeks have been ones of great joy in my kids and my marriage and my life, I should be feeling full of warmth of karmic retribution.

So why do I find myself listening for that other shoe?

Is it just a habit, this fear of giving in to the joy? Or is is a sixth sense, like the one that tells me when a certain cry from my son is a "bad" cry as opposed to just a "mad" cry, from two floors away?

How do you learn (or re-learn) to revel?


MrsGrumpy said...

I know that feeling. I never seem to maintain a feeling of contentment...even when days have gone by without anything majorly disruptive in the family.

binkytown said...

I think it's a bad habit and I would tell you how to break it if I knew.. but I don't.

I think the first step to not doing it is to be aware that you are doing it so you've got that much going for you! (Ill shut up now..)

Binky said...

Just the other day I was thinking how things were going pretty well (knock on wood...sigh, I'm so paranoid and superstitious I can't even write out the words without a qualifier). The next thought that came into my mind was that another terrorist attack must be imminent. See, I can't revel, either.

Swistle said...

Maybe it's that sometimes there ARE ants in the cotton candy, and it's better to check before eating it. (I don't know how to un-metaphor that either. I guess just that you can revel in good stuff without having to be oblivious to the possibility of bad stuff.)