Thursday, September 27, 2007

All Funked Up

September weather is as confusing as puberty. Is it summer or fall, humid or dry, breezy or dismal? A sweater in the morning, later followed by a skirt sticking to my bare legs by lunch. My pedicure has seen better days, but I am not yet ready to give up the last-minute ease of sandals. I am filing for a legal separation from my summer clothes on the grounds of irreconcilable boredom. But it’s still hot out, so each morning we have a trial reconciliation.

Neither of us are really happy.

And yet on the elevator today I had my first cool boots sighting of the season. I discreetly tucked my chipped toenails under, giving me the look of a formerly foot-bound Japanese woman. If only from the ankles down.

Boot girl also had on a cool trumpet skirt and a belted sweater jacket. So November 10th, she was. And me, looking so August 3rd at the Walmart.

I am in a funk. I am still wrapping up the loose ends of Old Job and in denial of the stress to be soon brought on by New Job.

PS – my new boss wont be there Monday on my first day. And neither will her assistant. But she is sure “someone will be happy to show me to my office and introduce everyone.”

Oh, the joys.

I guess I should relax, since no one really expects much from the New Girl for at least the first few days. I remember one job where they literally had nothing for me to do for an entire month. My manager-to-be hadn’t been hired yet, and they were to be in charge of setting up the department. This was pre-internet ere, so I spent an entire month reading old files. I could have done a full internal audit of the place by the time I was done.

I got nothing else. Bring on October.

One more thing - Sarah is testing out what new search terms will bring on the bizarro search hits. I suggested "under my skirt" since that post really brought the freaks out of the woodwork. She also gets alot of hits for anything having to do with the Doodlebops, and/or hermaphrodites. She tested out Brad Pitt and Butt but that got nothing.

So here we go - I got a hermaphrodite Doodlebop under my skirt.


Lumpyheadsmom said...

Is s/he sticking to your legs, too?

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

Just wait - here come the creepy hits. You should add "migdget". Pervs love midgets.

Suz said...

I am so ready to give my summer clothes the heave-ho, but I'm still a little too rotund to fit into my favorite Fall clothes. Good thing I work from home and can wear jeans all day! One of the lovely things about shoes is that they fit!

FENICLE said...

Oh, I like August 3rd 1998 WALMART everyday :)

Kate said...

I'm always aug. 3rd at walmart so don't feel bad. Good luck with the "someone showing you around". Hope that goes well.

MrsGrumpy said...

Hey, I usually look "any day of the year 5AM" so you have one up on me. It's funny how frumpy catching a glimpse of someone can make us feel. Maybe she was bumming that she let summer go so soon when she saw you.

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