Friday, November 9, 2007

Old People Are Crabby

So it’s not just my birthday next Tuesday. It is also my sister Christine’s birthday (Hi Christine!!) We are Irish twins. So I will be 40 and she will be 39. And lookin’ fine.

Anyway, I went to the card store that shall remain nameless today to get my sister a birthday card. Let’s just call it “Ball-fark”. I am one of their “Valued Gold Crown Members”. I have a key tag to prove it. And they sent me a birthday card. We are like this >< ok?

So I go in and find the perfect, funny, musical card for Christine, and two more cards, and bingo, I qualify to buy the cute little singing penguin thing that my kids lust after. And I have a birthday discount coupon, and a rewards voucher for $3. I take it all to the register and the lady immediately goes “Uh, I have to check with the manager because I don’t think you can use these.”

I hate when people greet a customer that way. At least give me the forced, obligatory “Did you find everything ok?” before you bend me over the counter and start giving me your song and dance about how none of the coupons and gift checks and other crap you send me to try to entice me into your store are GOOD FOR ANYTHING!!!

So she goes and talks to the manager and comes back and says, nope, can’t use any coupons, birthday discounts or rewards vouchers for what I am buying. I, politely but sort of pissed offfly say;

“This is really frustrating. You guys keep sending me coupons and flyers and checks but I can never USE any of them for anything I want to buy.”

And she huffily asks if I want to see the manager. Since that is who she just came from, I don’t see the point so I say no thank you and take back the coupons that she is holding out to me and put them in my purse. At which she point she snaps

“You don’t need to snatch them from me. I don’t make the rules!!”

Snatch? The only snatch I see here is the one behind the counter escalating a simple coupon kerfuffle into a nasty snatch-attack. And you might not make the rules, but you do wear the nametag and collect the salary from “Ball-fark”, so don’t act like I was way out of line by complaining to you about Ball-fark’s stupid “We don’t honor any of them 87 coupons we send you each month.” Policy. Kay?

Then I did what any can’t-think-of-the-perfect-comeback-until-30-minutes-later person would do. I said “Just forget the whole thing.”, threw my stuff on the counter and ran out of the store like it was on fire.

Christine, your card is on it’s way. But there wont be any little gold crown seal on it this year.

Over my dead snatch.

4 comments:

BetteJo said...

I don't shop there often but when I do - they always ask me if I y'know, belong. I have wondered for a fleeting moment whether I should join, sign up, but now I know the answer. And I have plenty of junk mail already, don't need any paper carrots coming that way - just to dangle in front of me and not pay off. Ugh.

Sharpie said...

The fact that you wrote snatch 3 times in your post makes you my new hero. LOL!

Sharpie said...

Oh wait - 4 times!!!!! ROFL Over my dead snatch - OMG - I can't breathe!!!!

Girl said...

Snatch is my new word of the week. Fabulous.