Monday, November 5, 2007

Wild On Mom's

Saturday night I went to a “Mom’s Night Out” party. It wasn’t just a mom’s night out; it was also one of those home parties. You know, where someone comes and tries to sell you alot of stuff you didn’t know you wanted or needed but somehow after a few glasses of wine and too much hot crab dip, seem like a really good idea? Yeah, one of those. But there weren’t any Partylite candles or Longaberger baskets or Discovery Toys to be had at this party. No, my friends, the toys at this party were for adults only. Yes, it was one of THOSE parties.

In my time, I have bought baskets, candles, dip and bread mix, skin care, baking pans, lipstick, flags, pictures and purses, all in the comfort of some friend or co-workers living room. The parties were all pretty similar, about 10-15 women, all balancing little plates of crackers and cheese and Spinach Dip on their laps and making friendly small talk while figuring whether they really needed the basket or the holiday sampler they were eyeing. Most of them lasted about 1-2 hours, and I was home in time for “West Wing”.

Not at this party. Whew! There were over 30 women there, truly every women she invited came and many brought a friend along. I brought my sister, because “virgin" as I was to this kind of party, I wanted a buddy. I didn’t even want to go, but I also didn’t want to be the one mom who didn’t go. Ah, peer pressure still wins out, even as I stare 40 in the face next week.

The hostess wisely had an array of cocktails on hand, and kept us all well-filled. (Before you go all M.A.D.D. on me, nearly every woman there lived in the neighborhood and walked home, and the two pregnant women there were designated drivers for those who didn’t.)

I won’t force you to hear the blow-by-blow (har,har) but here are a few highlights:

Fact - I laughed so hard during one of the games that I almost wet myself. My sister DID wet herself.

Fact - My husband and I are extremely compatible in bed, and also rather organic apparently since we were among a handful of couples who didn’t already own any toys, lotions or games.

Observation – The woman who was the raunchiest and talked the biggest game, also probably has the most insecure marriage. Me’think she doth brag too much…?

Fact – Women will share tips and recommendations on vibrators as readily as they will share recipes and shopping secrets.

Fact – Women who won’t spend $40 on a good haircut, will spend $150 on “toys” without a second thought.

Observation – No one once worried that her husband was going to be upset about how much she spent at this party.

Fact – At other home parties I have attended, there were always a few women who left without buying anything. That did not happen at this one. They stood in line for two hours for their private order session.

Fact – The hostess told me she sold over $1800 worth of stuff and still had other orders coming in after the party. The consultant makes 50%. Not bad for a Saturday night.

Observation – I would have judged these parties and people who had them in the past. But after seeing 30 women who couldn’t wait to go home to have some good old fashioned married fun with their HUSBANDS, I can’t think that it was such a bad thing.

Fact – I will never have one of these parties in my house, but I will definitely go to another one, even if it is just for the laughs.

Observation - My husband will strongly encourage my future attendance. *Wink Wink*


Suz said...

I would MUCH rather go to one of THOSE parties than one selling makeup or cooking equipment. Sounds like fun!!

Sherry said...

Perhaps I'm in the wrong line of work. Candles don't bring in that much at ALL!!!!

MrsGrumpy said...

I went to one once and my husband said my face was still red when I got home.

Mrs. Chicken said...

I went to one of these once and a woman I barely knew told me all about her sex swing.



I am still trying to recover.

Girl said...

Reading this post made me blush a little, or a lot.

Binky said...

You're making me sad about the fact that I've never had the opportunity to go to a sex toy party. I need to find one.

Loganator's Mom said...

I am with Suz and Binky on this one! I have always dreaded being invited to candle parties or jewelry parties but i would find it quite humorous to attend a "toy" pary.

Shelly said...

That is awesome! I must attend the next one I'm invited to.